The only way through...is through

The diet industry is a booming and enticing one because it offers so many promises. Promises to look better, drop dress sizes, or fit in to those old jeans that have been hanging in the back of your closet for years. And all you need to do is follow a specific meal plan that magically works for women of all ages and in all stages of life. And all of these changes can somehow be made by only fixating on your EXTERNAL world. Without even giving a second of thought to your INTERNAL world. Your thoughts, your feelings, the sensations you feel in your body, or perhaps the complete lack of ever feeling anything in your body…which is why you numb out with food in the first place. It’s tempting to only focus on the outside because that is the easier and more obvious road. However, what I have learned through my personal experience, and working with other women, is that lasting change can only occur when you start focusing on your internal world.

When you embark on an inward journey, you can start to become aware of patterns and triggers that have likely developed from earlier trauma. Now I know the word trauma can get thrown around quite freely. however the truth is, every one of us has experienced some sort of trauma in our lives. The definition of trauma is “the lasting emotional response that often results from living through a distressing event” and “experiencing a traumatic event can harm a person’s sense of safety, sense of self, and ability to regulate emotions and navigate relationships”. Perhaps as a child, you often felt ignored and invisible, however you did not have the vocabulary to express this. As a result of feeling alone, you might have turned to food to feel less alone or to manage the uncomfortable sensations coming up in your body that you were unable to recognize as loneliness. Or you might have grown up in a chaotic environment and to cope with the stress, you zoned out, essentially checking out of your body. Over many years, this would lead to a feeling of disembodiment and not being in tune with your bodily sensations, thoughts or emotions. Yet something might have still felt off and uncomfortable, and food is a common vice used to cope with this discomfort.

This is why I say that the only way through, is through. If your challenging relationship with food is deeply rooted in trauma responses and triggers, a diet that doesn’t even address what or how you are feeling will never lead to long-term success. And it will leave you feeling as if you lack willpower and constantly beating yourself up. In order to move forward in your journey, you need to peel back the layers one by one. And learn what triggers you to shut down and turn to food, as well as how to feel sensations in your body and feel safe doing so. The next time you find yourself reaching for food, I recommend taking 3 deep breaths and asking yourself “What am I feeling right now?” and “What do I need right now”. This is a great place to start becoming more familiar with your inner world.